I am back in the city. Classes started, not so bad so far. I'm taking Orgo..again, Sex and Gender in Latin America with a professor who seems to be a real biased douchebag already, Child Psychology with a biased professor as well, and A+P 2 with lab with Dr. Persell who's actually really funny but all over the place when he teaches. I'm hoping school will be more manageable this semester. I couldn't get into microbiology, it was full everywhere, so I figured I'd take A+P 2 so I could at least knock out one lab science this semester.

Work is slow, I've barely worked. Jessi is still home all the time, I don't understand when she works or has a job because she is always home. Her boyfriend is the world's biggest douchebag and a pathological liar. He's the biggest one upper I've ever met, to the point of where the other night people were talking about the drunkest they ever got and he topped everyone by saying once he got so drunk he woke up in the Dominican Republic, he didn't knew he flew there. You are a grown ass man. Stop lyin.

Jessi broke yet another one of my bowls so now I officially have one left in a set of 3, Anne coveted the other one. I have one glass in a set of three, no idea where the others went, and one towel left in a set of three, pretty sure the other 2 were used to clean up barf. I tried to hide my new utencils in a drawer but as soon as she saw me using them she was like jackpot and now uses them for baking cooking and whatever else.

I don't wanna tell her not to use them because I use her stuff too, it's just that I don't break her stuff because I don't try to balance bowls on top of other bowls on the stove, because I'm not an idiot.

I've actually started to consider moving to the Bronx where I know apartments are a lot cheaper. I could maybe get my own one bedroom there. I don't really wanna live in the Bronx though. It's far and I value my life and I feel like people just start shit there based off what I've heard. Living with Kenny and Jessi has made me reevaluate what I'm willing to sacrifice. She finally gave me the rest of the money she owed me, after she bought two bookcases for her room and $150 in ferret supplies, which she is now returning because I put my foot down and said no ferrets. I wouldn't have minded if they stayed in her room, but she was talking about letting them run around the apartment and putting baby gates down for them and all this other bullshit. No thanks, 2 other people live here and not everyone likes rodents running around. Ugh.

Last night I came home from work and went right to sleep because I felt so sick all of a sudden, so I'm in my room, sleeping, and Kenny has all these people over so I woke up at 3AM and came out to go brush my teeth and to let them know, hey, someone else lives here and she is SLEEPING! And he was like "Oh shit! Did we wake you up?!" Well, probably if your music is blasting, there's a drunk person singing and everyone out oh-shitting each other and I'm now AWAKE then yea, so I just said "Yea," which didn't really matter because no one was any quieter when I went back in his room. Some of his friends actually have the balls to try to make passes at me. What a joke. You're in my apartment, while I'm sick and trying to sleep, rolling blunts dipped in alcohol on my coffee table and you think that some part of me is going to find you attractive and charming? It must be a mans world.

What else. David and I are officially just friends again, like how we were in the beginning, which is really nice. There's no tension or anything weird. I'm over it. There are many things about his personality that I still really like and admire but he's so moody and quick changing I don't know how to keep up, and I don't always want to.

Went out with Samuel the other night, who really is a nice guy but he's caught up in so much shit so I don't know. It is just unbelievable to me that someone can live the way he does without having a job. Because I can't even live that way working 7 days a week. Whatever he's good to me when we are together I just don't know how far I wanna take it or if I wanna take it anywhere at all. The way he lives affects when he calls me, where he calls me from, and when he has time to come around which is not traditional to say the least. I really am a logical person it's just when I see him or run into him he looks and smells so fucking good. The other night he stopped in the deli to grab something before we went to his place and I said I didn't want anything but he got me this goya drink and literally looked like he was going to cry when I said I'd never had it.

I need to go do something. I have to go to school to study. I got my Hunter ID replaced and it is literally the worst picture that's ever been taken of me, I look like I just got off the boat from Ireland and have no idea what's going on and I'm wearing a little hat. lmao.

The man who owns the deli asked me if I was Puerto Rican the other day. I told him no and he continued, "Well, you LOOK Puerto Rican." Also! I finished reading Song of Solomon! I am actually so sad to be done it because I became so close to the characters and I loved reading it, it was so poignant. I love Toni Morrison. I gotta meet that woman. Alright time to do something with my life.

I keep having really vivid dreams where a distinct animal is present. The other night I had a dream I was sleeping in the middle of the woods in a one room log cabin and there were wolves at the door trying to knock it down. There was a little window in the door and I could see this dark wolves face pressed up against it? Then last night I had a dream my kitchen was my work only the cabinets were the same and huge rats were running on top of the cabinets, then I looked harder and the rats turned into cats? Weird and interesting. I think it's interesting how all of a sudden you'll have a dream and the animal in it will be such a main focus. Normally though I just have dreams with dogs or horses? The wolf dream was really distinct, I thought.

I spent my Sunday night sitting in observing an arraignment court, was interesting.

Dunkin Donuts still has the best hot chocolate.

My Halloween party was fun! I was Squanto. I have so much work due until Saturday. I'm trying to not go nuts. The end.

I GOT A FUCKING B ON MY ORGO EXAM!!!!! I WAITED A WEEK AND 2 DAYS TO CHECK THAT SHIT BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO DESTROY MY 6 DAY WEEKEND AND I SCORED 7 POINTS HIGHER THAN THE CLASS AVERAGE!! PRAISE BE TO JESUS!!!!

My old neighbor is a nosy cunt! She ordered all these McCain signs and is giving them to people on the block and telling them she set up this deal for someone where if they display one the guy who mows her lawn will mow theirs for free! What an old whore!

She gave one to my brother to give to my mom and my brother was like "Sorry Kath! My mom's a registered democrat!" TOO BAD!

Also, my mom has decided she is definitely voting for Obama.

I went to Pathmark yesterday to buy mousetraps, and you know, I bought the cheapest ones available. I wasn't buying some nice humane intricate $7 one, I only had a $20 bill on me and I needed to get groceries too. So I just got two packs, each with 2 in them, for $2 each and I set them up around the apartment- they're the sticky kind. I didn't want anything that was gonna snap their necks- that's just unnecessary, and a damn mess to clean up. And you know, I wanted to get as many as possible for as little money as I had to spend just so I could get them down and get some of them up- they are everywhere. Our landlord came over today and brought more traps and put down poison. Earlier tonight we got one on the sticky paper. I don't think there's really any way to get them off the adhesive, and if there was I don't even know if I'd have the balls to do it. I'm squeemish about mice. If Kenny were here I'd let him try or something.

I just saw one in my room and it ran behind my dresser so I blocked the dresser off with traps then shifted it so it ran out on to the trap and got stuck. It's messed up. They scream and squeak once they are stuck and try to get unstuck and in the process of trying to get their feet unstuck this one got his face stuck and he's trying so hard to get off and I feel like a real asshole.

Sometimes it annoys me when people act like you should do so much to get rid of mice humanely when your apartment and the building and your city for that matter is full of them. I mean, they're not endangered- they are everywhere, and if a few die from traps- they will still thrive as a species. Jessi was all upset earlier when the other one got stuck and sometimes I just have this feeling inside like people who make a big deal out of using mouse traps that kill or render the mice absolutely immobile are full of it and they don't actually feel that bad. Earlier I didn't feel so bad for that mouse, but I specifically moved my dresser so this one would run on to the trap, and now he's there struggling to get free and as much as I KNOW we need to get rid of them, I really do feel kind of bad.

Not bad to the point of where I wouldn't put traps down, obviously...and the rest are staying. I have to get rid of the mice. They were on my mattress for god sakes. But I do feel bad, I don't have the right to kill an animal, even one as small as a mouse. And that's what I'm doing because the thought of them running around my room, or the reality of them running around my room, has had me at the laundremat for about 7 hours in the past 24 hours and I'm not getting any sleep. I haven't been doing anything in the kitchen because it grosses me out and I don't want to be in there unless I have to.

Waiting until I get paid in order to go food shopping has put me on the path towards rapid weight loss. Tonight in the deli I was trying to buy some rubber gloves for my lab tomorrow, unsuccessfully so, and the guy standing next to me at the counter groaned and said "You makin me feel mad tall."

I need a second job.

Today I was walkin down the street, in literally, a torrential downpour, and this black dude was like "Hay white gurl..." and then this girl that was with him goes "Nigga she aint white! Is you crazy?"

Then I walked one more block and different Dominican dude was like "Mami...mami...you are Mexican, yes?"

I'm like the Vin Diesel of Washington Heights. Don't nobody seem to know my ethnic makeup.

Anyway I started reading Push Thursday night, really Friday morning on the train, finished it last night, great book. It's been a while since I read any book in a day. I couldn't stop. I cried a lot. Also, got this really nice email from my AIDS professor after I emailed my autobiographical essay on my interest and experience with AIDS and how I want it to relate to my career goals. She told me it was excellent and an A and that I should explore MSN/MPH degrees and masters of nursing in community health. She coooool. I was supposed to come home tonight to get more stuff but it is raining so hard I don't feel like runnin for that Chinabus in the rain. Maybe I'll go later if it calms down. Also my car passed inspection and didn't need anything! Wooo!

And don't fucking HUMOR me by literally WALKING OVER TRASH and saying "I'm sorry about your apartment." LIE OF THE YEAR.

I hate drunk bitches. This is so aggravating. I don't care if we have parties- honestly, I even like it every now and then. But if I brought my friends here and we drank I know they wouldn't be this stupid. This bitch is slamming every door in our apartment and I don't know how many people have thrown up. Glad they know they're cleaning it up cause I'm not doing a damn thing. People just say the most absolute stupid shit when they're drunk- at least these kind of people, which is no surprise. I want to kick them all out. How could someone actually befriend people so stupid? These people are totally fake and obnoxious like GROW up. There's trash all over the hallway, drinks spilled on the floor.

I've come to the conclusion that there are two kinds of people in this world. There are cool people, and then there are people who are just fucking douchebags and can't seem to understand life outside of fucking schemas already laid out for them. I don't generally tell people I don't drink to avoid the whole fucking annoying rigamaroll of them asking me these philosophical follow up "Why?" questions and then patronizing me like "Don't, it's not good for you, it's good you don't." How about...I don't know where you ever got the idea that I actually gave a rats about WHAT you thought, and I'll do what I want. How's that sound?

If I'm gonna drink I'll drink with people I love enough not to annoy me, people I actually enjoy being around. Plus my friends are cool.

I'm pretty sure people in other countries don't ever act like this no matter how much alcohol they've consumed. It's only stupid American college students- and I will stand by that. So glad I didn't go to a traditional on campus college because I probably would have literally killed myself. So much of our country is just a giant fucking waste. I don't understand how these people exist..in such numbers.

This bitch thinks she's cute! She plays up the whole curious lesbian thing then when I come in GRABS my boobs. I almost DROPPED her, don't care what you are I know you're not THAT drunk you're just a dumb bitch who needs to leave QUICK because I will NOT hesitate to drop your ass you touch me again, no one gave you permission and if you think you're cute or special enough to try some shit like that because you're "sOoO DrUnK" I will let you know quick that you are NOT.

I'm so irritated. No wonder people in this neighborhood can't stand white people- I can't stand white people! It's not really a white thing, I shouldn't say that, it's just a spoiled American college student thing. They have no respect for anything, they're fucking STUPID, I swear to god they think the world revolves around THEM- like they're fucking SPECIAL bitch I have to get up for class then work all day tomorrow! We fucking pay rent here and they're in the hallway being loud and obnoxious, screaming DUMB shit. Wanna know how many people in this building, on this block, have parties EVERY night? NONE of them are out there screaming like your dumb ass, trying to run up walls and shit. GROW up you are NOT cute.

And people in my room when I'm not here? Hello? Common sense? I wouldn't let people in one of my roommates rooms if they weren't here, what the fuck! I have my purse on the door, my shit laying out, it's just rude that's MY space, there's no party goin on in my room!

I don't get it, I honestly...do not get it. I liked living with Anne and Holly because they worked hard and didn't put up with any bullshit. They weren't stupid and they weren't spoiled. Jesse's parents pay her rent and Kenny's mom pays half his rent and that means something, I don't care what anyone says- we're not in the same mindset. I never felt like I was more mature than Anne or Holly, I felt like we were all on the same page and now here I'm like come on man, you gotta do something about this. I like them both, individually, I do, they just picked some dumbass people to be friends with and they accept this shit as normal when it's too much and unnecessary.

Last weekend Jesse had some people over and honestly tell me how this guy is laying on the floor with his nasty shoes on our white wall? What? Hello? I don't care if you drink, if you're drunk, if you're stupid but what? Why do you have to put your dirty black ass shoes on the wall? Where did you grow up to do some shit like that? Obviously in a place where you have no respect, therefore I DON'T respect you. Then this one kid, just, everything out of his mouth was worse than the previous thing. Coincidentally, he decided to drive him and his friend who was also here home that night, completely drunk, and his friends head went through the windshield. Oh, I guess now it's sad to everyone, right? Time for everyone to put on their sad face and act more concerned than the next person? Well, you stupid motherfuckers, how many times does someone have to lay it down for you?? I guess that's what it takes- even though it's the same SHIT over and over again. You must be a real dumbass to speed in NY drunk WITH your friend next to you. Don't worry the guy was okay. And I'm not mean, people who let their friends heads go through windshields are mean.

Oh and you know, if I say any of this I'm just a prude because I don't drink myself. That's how it works, right? I guess it takes a little too much brain power to think outside that, to stop and think maybe you're a DUMB SELFISH spoiled fuck.


I'm done for tonight. I like my roommates, don't get my wrong I do, this whole time I'm talking about their friends, their unfortunate friends. I'm more mature than them, though. I definitely am. And I hate being that way, I don't wanna mom everyone. I just wanna relax. We live here, we work, we go to school, I don't wanna have to worry about if you realize shit is getting to be too much or not. That's not my job, that's YOUR job so grow up.

Today was a series of unfortunate events.

First I realized I don't have a swiffer mop, which I thought I did, but I guess I didn't bring that.

Then earlier today I was at 34th street getting some books and a pair of jeans and I was crossing the street only to see a guy who just got nailed by a car being put on a stretcher. And when I say nailed I mean there was blood and chunks of his flesh all over him and the street.

Then I went to Webster Hall with David and some of the people we met through Wanda, I had my new jeans on, I was all excited to not have class or work tomorrow, we wait for about an hour- guy takes my ID, everyone gets in but me, and he wouldn't give it back.

I leave the club pissed by myself and go back to the train, fall asleep on it, and wake up in the Bronx.

The end.